ALERT: ELEVATED CONTAMINATION DETECTED
SLOP
POLICE
INTERNET POLLUTION CONTROL DIVISION. MONITORING CONTAMINATION LEVELS ACROSS THE DIGITAL ECOSYSTEM. SUBMIT SAMPLES FOR ANALYSIS.
UNIT-M1: THREAT ASSESSMENT
CONTAMINATION LEVEL
000
Fresh Air
UNIT-S1: SYSTEM STATUS
Detection Engine
ACTIVE
Pattern Database
v2.4.1
Network
CONNECTED
API Quota
87%
87%
DETECTION RATE
10,847
SAMPLES PROCESSED
523
SITES MONITORED
99.9%
UPTIME
DETECTION PROTOCOLS
MULTI-SIGNAL ANALYSIS ENGINE. FOUR DETECTION VECTORS. PATTERN MATCHING ACROSS KNOWN CONTAMINATION SIGNATURES.
PROTO-01
⚠️
REPETITIVE PHRASES
Detects overused AI patterns: "I'd be happy to", "It's important to note", "Let me help you"
PROTO-02
🔍
AI-ISM DETECTION
Flags characteristic vocabulary: "delve", "tapestry", "vibrant", "leverage", "synergy"
PROTO-03
📊
UNIFORMITY ANALYSIS
Measures sentence length variance. AI text shows unnaturally consistent patterns.
PROTO-04
📝
HEDGING DETECTION
Identifies excessive qualifiers and formal constructions typical of AI output.